Doing It Wrong

I'm getting ready to relive some emotions and memories that I've kept suppressed for years just for you guys. So get ready for a rollercoaster.

We love when fellow magicians come to see our show. The fact that you would take that risk of getting trapped. Once you've sat down in a bad show you have to be nice and stay especially if you're in the same art form. I'm sure plenty of us have been there. 

Recently a magician came to see Pure Magic. Fortunately he was nice after the show and spoke to both of us. (Believe it or not, some magicians will ignore me and just talk to Brandon) He gave us both compliments and went on his way.

We figured that was that and didn't think much about it. Not too long after that night Brandon ran back into him when I wasn't with him. He then proceeded to give Brandon notes about how we are "doing the whole duo magician thing wrong".

Okay first off, guys. guys. guys. I cannot stress this enough. Don't give people unsolicited advice on their show if they didn't ask you for it. I could write a whole blog post about this. Especially because Brandon and I are younger we have dealt with this our ENTIRE magic careers.

And it doesn't just happen to us. People feel like because they're older and "know" something about magic that you definitely want their opinions. And in 10 years, I can think of one time that the advice was beneficial to us and the guy who did it started out by saying "Can I make a tiny suggestion?" And that is the ONLY way it is even slightly acceptable to do so.

I mean if you're a doctor, would you want someone else coming up to you being like "Oh yeah, I do medicine as a hobby and you should really rethink the way you diagnosed that patient. I read on WebMD that those symptoms lead more towards the coronavirus" *insert eye roll here*

SO let me explain to you why we are doing the whole duo magician thing wrong.

At this point, to our audiences we are Duo magicians. While I still do most of the box jumping, Brandon now does some too and I also do my own solo magic in the show. In my heart I will always be a magic assistant. By having us both be magicians it's easier to have the audience respect me and not see me as just another prop.

So rewind to 2013, three years into our career together, we decided to take a big turn and start working towards establishing Brandon and I as equals. We didn't know where to start, so Brandon reached out to our friend Christian Painter because he and his wife Katalina perform as a duo act and have great chemistry and balance onstage. We wanted to know their secret for reaching that point. Christian simply told Brandon... give her a microphone. She'll learn, sink or swim, how to become a better performer by having to speak in front of the audience. That was it. It is some of the best advice we've ever gotten. It pushed us off in exactly the right direction.

On Halloween we did a Houdini tribute show, this is when we announced that we were no longer The Magic of Brandon Wagster but now officially The Wagsters. In this show I did my first piece of solo magic, that wasn't the freaking vanishing bandana. I had a good personality piece with a short script and no Brandon in sight. It went over great!

So by this point we've been living in Myrtle Beach, have lost our theater gig, and honestly not working much at all. So our egos and confidence are very fragile at this point. We did however land a solid gig during the Summer at the Sea Mist Resort. So every year a few months out we started planning this show. Another magician we trusted at the time gave us some advice to help Hannah. It definitely wasn't the right advice.

He suggested we not do magic together but have a several solo pieces for each of us. Some guys will do a joint show with a fellow magician and will trade off back and forth. Yeah... that crap only works if you both have the same amount of experience.

So every Monday, June through August we did two shows back to back at the Sea Mist. We had minimal time in between to reset everything, so this meant we had no time to make adjustments in between the first and second show if something wasn't going over well.

I'm trying to remember exactly what I did... I have truly tried to repress this night in my life because it was hands down one of the worst. I know I did an act with silk scarves, some multi phase prediction thing, and probably my hugs & kills bit I did in the Houdini show.

I don't recall how we started the show. I'm sure we did something together and introduced us as separate magicians and that's when all hell broke loose. At this point I would have just turned 20 and Brandon 23. I would have been doing "solo" magic for a few months. And Brandon had been doing it for 17 years. Do you realize how much of a head start that is?

I was literally battling Brandon onstage. And not well mind you. He did a piece, then I did a piece so horribly it wasn't even funny. We've all seen something that was so bad it was funny and other times it's so bad it's painful. I think at first the audience really was excited for me. It sounded cool that I would be doing my own thing. I muddled through my silk routine and bowed to some scattered applause.

Brandon did something and then I did the awful prediction thing we put together. It wasn't even good magic, I'm not sure what we were attempting but I had to speak the whole time and I had to act and I did not deliver. It didn't fool anyone. This got a few pity claps.

Brandon did something else. I then came out to do the trick I did at the Houdini show. This is a good solid routine but at that point it didn't matter. The audience already hated me. When Brandon announced it was time for me to come back onstage again the audience GROANED. There was a loud audible groan because they had to put up with me again.

My heart is hurting again just typing all of this...

Guys listen I've actually been booed onstage before. Now granted I was assisting another magician and technically they were booing him and not me. But that didn't even come close to what it felt like to audibly hear that an audience hated me. As a performer I have never felt so low.

I genuinely don't remember the rest of that show. I don't remember the following show that night. I just remember the self loathing and hate I felt for myself because of this experience.

We had to drive to Columbia that night from Myrtle Beach and I cried all the way there. 3 hours of just sobbing.

How could I ever step foot on a stage again? How could I be so stupid as to have left everything behind to pursue a career that I was absolutely terrible at?

I was numb for a while. I didn't want to talk about it. We put the show back to what it was the year before and I just slept walk through the shows for a while and tried to forget it happened.

Brandon was always my security blanket onstage. And it shouldn't have just been snatched away from me all in one go. We had such a great balance onstage and we do magic together so effortlessly but having Brandon backstage as opposed to onstage made such a big difference. Just a few feet further away from me than usual determined my success or failure at that time.

So we reverted back for a long time. I was terrified to try again and just chose to go the safe route. It took quite a while for me to get back on the horse.

In the little gigs we did here and there eventually I started trying to just speak again. I certainly never went back to those routines we created for that summer. They are dead and will stay dead. We even have a special drawer labeled failed for that junk.

When it came time to present our full show at the Opry for the first time I was actually ready for speaking. I performed vanishing bandana again because it was comfortable and for the most part we stayed at our onstage balance but gave me a lot more speaking parts.

Even then I wasn't great but I had come such a long way. I spoke a little high pitched and definitely way too fast but my confidence was still healing even after 2 1/2 years.

Every year gets easier, I push myself and grow more as a performer. Last year I put in my first piece of really good magic, not a gag, that was completely solo and involved controlling an audience member up onstage, which when you are inexperienced with that, it's a lot to juggle.

In about a month we're adding a piece to Pure Magic that involves us both doing the same trick. This is scary to me because it feels like we will be competing against each other again but we have rehearsed it constantly and I'm interested to see how it goes over in our first new show of the season.

Next year I'll be doing a close up piece that we've created that doesn't involve me speaking. I've chosen great personality pieces at this point to show off my sass and was able to play off audience members. This will be just me doing sleight of hand to some music with a camera zoomed in on my hands all while being projected onto 3 giant screens. No pressure.

But now I'm excited for things like this. Of course I'm still frightened, I always am. But the best things in life come with a risk.

And this is a good balance for us. This is the way we have found that works for us. Me just having one or two pieces of solo magic while we do the rest together.

So no, we aren't doing that whole duo magician thing wrong. We are doing what works for us. What works for me. And we're going to keep doing it that way. Our right way.