The Story We Never Shared

So let's back up to 2020. Life was pretty normal for everyone I'd like to think. I believe we all can say life looks a lot different now then it did pre Covid. In March we were busy prepping for our new show to go in on April 1st at the theatre we had been performing at in Myrtle Beach for the last 5 1/2 years. And then things started to get weird. The news was constantly talking about everyone getting sick with this new deadly virus and we all started to get a little nervous. The theatre got more hand sanitizer stations, we quit doing meet and greets, and the rumors started to spread about taking a week or so off for shows. We had no idea what was in store. But I do remember that last night we performed on that stage. It was March 16th and we had just finished our routine in the big variety show. We walked off with all the dancers behind us and Brandon turned to me and said "Hannah I think that was it. I think we just performed on that stage for the last time." Why he said that, I honestly don't know. The theatre hadn't announced anything yet. There was no reason for him to know, but he did.

The next night we had off but the day after that we should have had a Pure Magic. We stayed up super late redoing the whole show to be without audience participation because we knew there was no way we could do any with the way things were going. Our show was at 4. We found out at 11 they were cancelling it. We were the first show at the theatre to be pulled because of Covid, then they cancelled the show for that night and closed until further notice. We thought surely it would be just a little while.

Everyone was let go. We lost our insurance. The whole nine yards. But of course we weren't the only entertainers to suddenly have the floor snatched from underneath us with shows shutting down. We were some of the lucky few because we had unemployment from working at the theatre. 

March ended, then came April. Towards the end of the month we started to go a little stir crazy. We went from 4-10 shows a week to absolutely nothing and never leaving the house. We finally reached a breaking point and some things from our marriage that we kept shoving aside while constantly working rose to the surface. It wasn't something we could bounce back from either. We had to make a decision if it was worth it to keep going and we dug in deep. Some roots are hard to get going if you never give anything time to grow so we put our marriage first.

We started recovering and couldn't look back. And that meant giving up some things that were comfortable to us and had been our lives for a long time. If we're honest, we thought the theatre would make some changes when things finally did reopen again and we always assumed they wouldn't continue our show as it was just an extra show while they still had two other main shows. But we knew we would cross that bridge when we came to it. In the meantime we just chose to heal.

We traveled. A lot. We dated. We got to know each other more over that one summer than we ever had in the 10 years together. We worked harder than we ever had to put ourselves and our marriage first. We were so broken from how we had been living our lives. Always trying to seem like we had it all together, always putting the show first, and never making time for us.

I know Covid hurt so many people but I've also seen where it has done good. I've seen people start new businesses, take crazy chances, do things they said they would never do. We did that too. And I don't regret a single second of it. 

We shocked everyone when we announced in September that we wouldn't return to the theatre. We were in Universal Orlando Resort when we got the email that the theatre would be reopening soon and we had a lot to think about. We weighed our options and chose what was best for us. Even without the steady paycheck, 401Ks, insurance, and all that we were happy. The amount of stress and strain that came from it wasn't worth it. I was even having chest pains at 26 due to the stress of the work. 

We actually upset a lot of people but we just kept our heads down and went underground. We signed a contract to work a fair in Florida for that following February and didn't really do much until then. And we loved it.

We did have some Facebook friends reach out actually back in late March or early April right at the start of Covid to ask if we wanted to hear all about how they opened their magic theatre. Of course we said yes and ended up spending almost 6 hours on a Zoom meeting with them and heard all about how they did it. This did happen before the big blow up in our marriage but still it changed everything.

Once we had healed some and settled in a little bit, we started entertaining the idea more. Brandon has always wanted his own magic theatre and right then during shut down when we had nothing better to do we started planning what this could look like. By the time the theatre we had been working at was getting ready to open and calling everyone back in we were already 6 months into our 2 year noncompete we had signed when joining. We had every intention of opening the theatre in Myrtle Beach and didn't want to start the contract over again so that was another factor for us not wanting to return.

We felt peace with our decision and kept pushing forward. We traveled a lot in 2021 as well but with doing shows. It was fun being on the road again. We lived out our best Disney and Harry Potter lives as we kept getting work in Florida and visited the theme parks over and over. We had never had the opportunity to really travel with only having part of the month of January off. 

We sold our home, moved into a tiny little garage apartment, took random jobs (nannying, baker, barista), to save up as much money as we could, cashed out our 401Ks and played the waiting game.

We looked for spaces every now and then around town but knew we had to wait until closer to the end of the year to sign a lease for a building. Our 2 year noncompete would be up on March 16th of the next year so we couldn't say a word until then. It was a lot of walking on eggshells as we tried to find the right place for the theatre. We still were doing everything we could behind the scenes and kept in constant contact with our business mentor. We were gonna do this and it was gonna be Myrtle Beach.

Fast forward to December of 2021, we had been going back and forth with a landlady for months now but we really loved a space we found. In January it was time to sign the lease. But it didn't feel right. In a leasing agreement both parties should budge a little. And this lady never budged. She kept asking for more money and more things. We got more uneasy and Brandon reached out to his best friend who owns two businesses and asked if they could talk numbers. 

And it wasn't good news. As most of you know there are shortages of everything even still today which meant timelines were all over the place and with this option, our only option, it wouldn't work. We had searched high and low for the right building for months on end and this was our last option. And this lady was going to make us go bankrupt before we could even open. We were devastated and we cried a lot.

2 years of work felt like it had completely gone up in flames and we had no idea what to do. We couldn't open for summer now and the only guess was to try to open in time for Christmas but that was losing a whole summer again when we had already lost 2021. We knew we couldn't do it again, people would forget about us. Other magicians were already back to performing while we were waiting out our noncompete and it was awful just twiddling our thumbs.

So for about 3 days we just cried. Where would we go from here? We couldn't possibly start doing resort shows again after leaving a 1600 seat theatre. We didn't want to work for another theatre again. And we couldn't be without work all summer. To say we felt trapped is an understatement.

Then enter magician friend ex machina. 

Tiffany wanted to help us find some summer work. So naturally the conversation turned to theme parks as those can be a good gig for illusionists in the summer time. Her very first suggestion was Busch Gardens, to which we replied with while we love Florida, we wouldn't want to move there. She corrected us there was actually a sister park to the one we were thinking of but in Virginia. Williamsburg, VA. Which we had never heard of... Once she started explaining that it was part of the original colonies and James City we realized of course we knew what the Williamsburg area was but never really knew the name and definitely hadn't visited before.

But then Brandon couldn't get it out of his head, we had only ever thought to do our show in Myrtle Beach and another town had honestly never presented itself to us. It couldn't be a coincidence. He started researching everything he possibly could about the town and in a matter of days fell in love. It fit the tourism numbers and demographic we needed, is a super safe community to raise a family, and most important of all there was NO entertainment here. There was a void and we planned to fill it. 

We called back Tiffany and Brandon asked if she thought Williamsburg would be a good place to open our theatre and she couldn't have agreed more with our idea.

We always knew that if for some reason we left Myrtle Beach that we would choose a town where there was no other magic shows so we wouldn't step on any toes because we knew what that felt like when someone comes in and rides on your coattail to share in some of your hard work and success. Williamsburg had never had a professional magic show and we jumped at the chance to bring magic to this amazing little town.

So while we had been planning our magic theatre for 2 years, we had most of the details right, just not the town. 

We booked a trip to visit Williamsburg for the first time Valentine's weekend. We already knew in our heads this was where we wanted to be before even arriving but we had to be sure with a fact finding mission. Brandon spoke with some big marketing people in Williamsburg and when he told them we were coming to possibly look at opening a magic show one person got so excited they started telling people we were coming before we even went to the town! But obviously, luckily it worked out.

On our trip we ate at a few local restaurants, scoured some locations for lease we had found online before hand (which none of them were accurate), did an escape room, walked around some parks with Luna and Colonial Williamsburg, it even snowed while we were here. We fell more in love with the town every second we were here but we couldn't find a building.

We were tossing up the idea of just moving here anyways, getting some part time jobs and opening the theatre when we found the right space. But on Valentine's night, our last night in town, Brandon tried one last time to find something. We remembered seeing that a church had a sign out where they just bought a new building which meant they had to move from somewhere and that sent him on another deep dive of the internet. He found their previous building, tracked down another tenant that seemed to have residence in the building and reached out the next morning. We were running out of time at this point because we were leaving that day and had a meeting with the Williamsburg Chamber of Commerce to talk about opening a business here as our last planned activity.

As luck would have it the landlady of the building is best friends with the contact Brandon found online. We found out the building is vacant and they are looking for someone to lease it. 

We set up a time to walk through the building, prayed really hard in the parking lot, held our breath and walked inside. Let me clarify by saying obviously Brandon is the dreamer in this relationship, and I'm the realist. But with him being the dreamer, that also means he can envision and imagine things that I cannot. No matter how hard I try, until the project is almost done I can't see it. He stepped in and saw all the building could be, how it could become a theatre. I saw a lot of yellow walls and a lot of nothing. I could understand slightly where things could go because luckily the church clearly had an auditorium although the stage was off in the corner and entirely too small to even hold two illusions much less a whole illusion show.

After 30 minutes of walking through, taking photos, videos, and measurements Mrs. Beckie, the building owner finally turns to us and says "So what is it you wanted to do with this?" We laughed because we thought her friend told her so then we got watch her face as she processed "We want to open a magic theatre and do magic shows year round" She replied with "Well that's interesting" but wasn't turned off from the idea.

We exchanged contact information and everyone decided to think on it and we discussed through what it would look like rent wise, timeline, etc. All hypothetical of course. 

And just as quickly as we had found it, we were back on the road to South Carolina. A five hour drive gave us a lot of time to think and discuss all the possibilities. We of course called Tiffany first thing to talk it over and then called another magician couple in Florida that already had a successful magic theatre of their own. We bounced off ideas, talked through all the pros and cons. And honestly we had a hard time coming up with cons. The biggest was leaving everyone and everything we knew and moving to a brand new town not knowing a soul and obviously risking every penny to our names but that seemed like an easy decision to make in the long run.

Our hearts knew, this was it. 5 hours later we pulled into the field in front of our tiny little garage apartment and we had our decision. This was it. We were doing this. And we only had 29 days to get it all together and break the news to everyone we loved. February 15th was the day our whole lives changed and we left a piece of our hearts back in Williamsburg. We knew we had to go back and get it.

Let's Start Over

Hey magical humans. It's been a long time. And instead of apologizing for that, I will just say thank you for your patience. Because I've learned I apologize way too much and honestly I don't have anything I need to say sorry for while I needed time. 

It's been almost 2 years. So much has changed. Our lives completely changed. 

We got a hard reset, so the blog needed one too. Life As A Magic Assistant will always have a special place in my heart but welcome to the new. I've officially made the switch to The Box Jumping Magician. Don't worry we will get to way more on that later.

So let's catch up. If we haven't met before, I'm Hannah. And if we have met before, well maybe I'm a little different than I was before if we haven't met lately and that's okay too. I just turned 28 years old, my husband and I have been together 13 years this fall and married for 9. We are both magicians and are the parents of an angel baby and 3 wonderful animals: a dog named Luna, a parakeet named Pippin, and a rabbit named Ruby. We grew up and lived in South Carolina our whole lives up until 3 months ago. We took our biggest leap of faith yet on March 16th and moved everything we owned to Williamsburg, VA and now we are opening our own magic theatre that Brandon has dreamed about for over 20 years this week. Our lives are magical and crazy to say in the least. 

I'll be sharing a super detailed look at the past couple of years and why we ultimately ended up leaving a town we said we would never leave and how we found this wonderful place we live now.

Just like before I'll probably say some things I shouldn't as I'm brutally honest and real. But you will know that what I'm saying is from the heart.

I've missed this outlet and I am so looking forward to getting back to blogging. I hope you enjoy keeping up with us and all that is happening in our lives right now. It's been a whirlwind. 

You can see more about what all we have been doing here at The Wagsters Magic Theatre and hope to see you all starting on the 17th!

Looking forward to finally sharing our story with you soon. Until then, stay magical!

How Covid Has Tried To Take Away Magic

Well it's July. I have pushed this post off over and over and over because I kept thinking this all would end sooner.

We officially have not done a show since March 16th. And this is certainly the longest I've ever gone without stepping on a stage since starting magic.

Now I will admit we are finally starting to see a few friends around the US get back to doing very small shows that are nothing like we've done before (I'll get to that in a minute) but South Carolina still hasn't opened theaters and it's looking like it won't happen anytime in the near future. Myrtle Beach where we live is just a hot mess right now. It's a hotspot for the virus because it opened very quickly and everyone from all over have come here because there are no rules or hasn't been about masks, social distancing, quarantining, etc.

Edit: As I'm writing this, Myrtle Beach just passed to require face masks in public effective as of Thursday night. It's about dang time!! 😷

As a "non-essential" worker we have had a LOT of time on our hands. And we took this time to really reflect and ground ourselves as who we are and what we want to be as people and performers. Honestly we've had too much time but that's okay too. We personally needed to slow down. Needed a reset. We spend so much of our time constantly working between creating, rehearsing, marketing, and just stressing about what's next for us.

I truly hope if you had time off that you slowed down. That you really did take in the time that we don't normally have. Set down your phones and soaked in some quality time with the loved ones you were quarantined with and were productive in ways other than work. For us we started taking outdoor dates, exploring hiking trails, spending real quality with the animals more than usual. We went on adventures. We've worked a lot on our house. Things that normally are on the back burner we took the time to do.

As of right now we don't know what's next. This has been the most confusing, uncertain time we have experienced. And the entertainment industry is at a loss.

Broadway is closed until 2021, Cirque du Soleil filed for bankruptcy, Feld Entertainment laid off 90% of their employees. Entertainment is not okay. We've already seen theaters and venues shut down and performers moving locations. This will take seemingly forever to feel normal again. To crowd bunches of strangers sitting side by side in a room together.

Virtual shows are the new normal. And so many have had to make the transition to something they never planned just to survive. Virtual shows personally haven't been an option for us. We honestly didn't realize how long this would last so most of our props and all of my makeup and hair stuff have been locked up in the theater since the shut down. And back in November when we had our van broken into they stole all our equipment that we would need to put on a show. Also it's just not something we feel like we would be good at. We perform for live audiences and we didn't want to put something out there that wasn't the best it could be. But with that being said, it has worked out for a lot of our magician friends and we have loved getting to watch people perform that we normally don't get the chance to!

But when magic shows do come back, what does that look like? We have to social distance, no audience volunteers on stage, and still no meet and greet. We had started the social distancing of audiences in the theater and no meet and greet already back in March when all of this started but no volunteers will be a new thing for us.

As most of you know we were suppose to be putting in a brand new show on April 1st. This was hands down the most excited we have been about new routines, costumes, music and it didn't get to happen. And now it won't for a while.

We have a no physical interaction volunteer show mapped out. But it's a combo of years past because so much of our new magic needed people up onstage and we are so sad about that. All of that work for the past year, because we do start planning out new shows a year in advance, has gone down the drain. The new show and marketing campaigns literally went out the window.

In a tourist town like ours, our peak season is summer. Memorial weekend to Labor Day weekend. July is here. Summer is already almost halfway over. But don't you worry, the beaches are plenty packed. Like I said Myrtle Beach is a hotspot, people are not letting a global pandemic rob them of a vacation. But they can't see any shows while they are here.

Latest cancellation extension from the theater

Now because we do have all this time off we did decide to go on a little vacation honestly because we've never gotten to leave during the summer before. But we were extremely safe and cautious with where we went which was Universal Orlando Resort and they are doing an amazing job with keeping everything since their reopening last month.

But for everyone what a safe reopening looks like is very different. The big problem with theaters reopening right now isn't the actual show, it's very easy to distance people in a super sanitized auditorium and keep them safe. It's the whole lobby aspect, everyone shows up at the same time, goes to intermission, restrooms, gift shop, concession at the same time and all file outside through the same doors at the same time. It's like herding cats. And at the end of the day, you can suggest and try to persuade people as much as you want to follow the rules but it still doesn't always happen.

The hardest part of all of this has truly been not performing, not having an outlet. During stressful or hard times we can usually just perform extra hard and leave it all out there and the stage and honestly sometimes give the audience an even better show than usual.

It's been a big adjustment in our household not having that. And truly finding ourselves outside of being entertainers. That's always been such a huge part of our being. Our normal everyday is preparing for the next show, talking constantly about it, we never stop thinking about it. And honestly our relationship had started to suffer for that. We were putting the magic first, so having it forced out of the forefront was a blessing in disguise.

Overall to everyone reaching out asking if we are okay, we truly do appreciate it. We have been very blessed during this despite it all. We have so many magic peers who haven't been as fortunate as us because we aren't just self-employed anymore while working at the theater. We have never been more thankful for our path and where we are right now.

We do miss performing. The butterflies we get before we appear at the top of the show. The sound of applause. The adrenaline of nailing a super physical illusion. The hugs and words of praise we receive after the show. Our fans who come and see our show time and time again and somehow never get sick of us. We do miss you.

Art by Jeff Rogers

But one day we will be together again. One day when it's safe.

So in the meantime please wear your mask, make smart decisions, and if you know an entertainer, reach out and give them a virtual hug. They really do need it.

A Decade of Magic

Today officially marks 10 YEARS that I've been doing magic! A whole decade! I cannot believe it!

And to celebrate I'm not doing a show... which is a depressing thought.

It's also World Theatre day and all the theatres are shut down. Disney just announced they are staying closed until further notice. It's a weird time.

We all try not to focus on the negative at this time but it's weird just sitting at home doing nothing. But that is our literal jobs right now, to stay home and stay safe so I've had plenty of time to reminisce about my journey in magic and where it's taken me.

As I've explained in the past, Brandon did NOT want me to be his assistant when we were dating. But eventually I won him over and the very first show I went along with him after our verbal agreement that he was stuck with me even more, I only had one job. I just had to change his music for him once he was tied up in a straight jacket.

And man my nerves was out of control. I could have ruined the show. Spoiler alert, I did great marching my little happy self up on stage in my obnoxious zebra print top as I smiled and hit next on his little iPod Mini. Oh hey throw back.

And that started everything...

My first show outfit

The countless birthday parties and church events, that turned to magic conventions and library gigs, that one day turned into a theatre run, and then to hotel shows, to finally being where we are right now with Pure Magic.

Sometimes I want to get mad at this job for what it's taken from me. It's not been easy.

We don't get vacations whenever we want. It keeps pushing off my dream of a family. We don't really have a normal social life. We say no to a lot of things so we can use all of our money to keep growing the show.

I want to be mad somedays about what it takes away and what I've "lost" in the past 10 years. But I can't really because magic has given me SO much.

I mean first off, obviously I get to work with my husband. We spend pretty much every waking moment together (especially right now during quarantine lol) but even outside of this, we get to go everywhere together.

Crazy dressing room selfies are always the best

I've met incredible people I never would have thought I could meet like Jack Hanna and the band Kansas. I've made amazing friends because of this craft that everyone thinks only consists of anti-social dorks. Mentors turned into friends and those friends turned into family.

I've gone to cool places. I would have never gotten on a plane if I didn't have to. I still avoid it if possible, that fear of heights is not a joke. We've visited places I wouldn't normally go to for magic conventions and our vacations to fun places have literally all been paid for by magic.

I've grown so much as a person. I'm constantly pushed out of my introvert comfort zone by getting up onstage and speaking in front of thousands of strangers. I continually work on my fears of heights and tight spaces. #ClaustrophicMagicAssistant

Itty Bitty Living Space

I've learned to love humans more. For the most part, I don't like people. I have always been an animal person and I tend to be unapologetic about it. But seeing what magic can do for others and help them escape from what's going on. Hearing people pour their hearts out to us at meet and greet about what's going on in their lives and how our show affected them. That can't help but wear down even a cold heart like mine.

And my absolute favorite part about this job is how much of our lives I have to look back on. We have more photos and videos of us than most people get to have in a lifetime. I can watch us grow up and how much we change as performers and people throughout time.

For something that I hated for a while there growing up, I've certainly learned to love it!

I wish I could list out every single thing that's happened to us these past 10 years working together. I have so many fun stories I want to share but am planning to create some individual posts so I can better explain some. I'm most looking forward to sharing our audition stories with you guys! So stay tuned!

From the bottom of my heart thank you to everyone who has helped us in this journey. Anyone who has encouraged us, stayed up late on skype or facetime with us to improve a routine, given me hair and makeup advice, helped us choreograph a new illusion, find the perfect song, the list could go on endlessly. Thank you to the incredible performers that I look up to that continually inspire me. And most importantly thank you to the people who didn't believe in me. You pushed me most of all.

One decade down, hopefully many more to go!!

Doing It Wrong

I'm getting ready to relive some emotions and memories that I've kept suppressed for years just for you guys. So get ready for a rollercoaster.

We love when fellow magicians come to see our show. The fact that you would take that risk of getting trapped. Once you've sat down in a bad show you have to be nice and stay especially if you're in the same art form. I'm sure plenty of us have been there. 

Recently a magician came to see Pure Magic. Fortunately he was nice after the show and spoke to both of us. (Believe it or not, some magicians will ignore me and just talk to Brandon) He gave us both compliments and went on his way.

We figured that was that and didn't think much about it. Not too long after that night Brandon ran back into him when I wasn't with him. He then proceeded to give Brandon notes about how we are "doing the whole duo magician thing wrong".

Okay first off, guys. guys. guys. I cannot stress this enough. Don't give people unsolicited advice on their show if they didn't ask you for it. I could write a whole blog post about this. Especially because Brandon and I are younger we have dealt with this our ENTIRE magic careers.

And it doesn't just happen to us. People feel like because they're older and "know" something about magic that you definitely want their opinions. And in 10 years, I can think of one time that the advice was beneficial to us and the guy who did it started out by saying "Can I make a tiny suggestion?" And that is the ONLY way it is even slightly acceptable to do so.

I mean if you're a doctor, would you want someone else coming up to you being like "Oh yeah, I do medicine as a hobby and you should really rethink the way you diagnosed that patient. I read on WebMD that those symptoms lead more towards the coronavirus" *insert eye roll here*

SO let me explain to you why we are doing the whole duo magician thing wrong.

At this point, to our audiences we are Duo magicians. While I still do most of the box jumping, Brandon now does some too and I also do my own solo magic in the show. In my heart I will always be a magic assistant. By having us both be magicians it's easier to have the audience respect me and not see me as just another prop.

So rewind to 2013, three years into our career together, we decided to take a big turn and start working towards establishing Brandon and I as equals. We didn't know where to start, so Brandon reached out to our friend Christian Painter because he and his wife Katalina perform as a duo act and have great chemistry and balance onstage. We wanted to know their secret for reaching that point. Christian simply told Brandon... give her a microphone. She'll learn, sink or swim, how to become a better performer by having to speak in front of the audience. That was it. It is some of the best advice we've ever gotten. It pushed us off in exactly the right direction.

On Halloween we did a Houdini tribute show, this is when we announced that we were no longer The Magic of Brandon Wagster but now officially The Wagsters. In this show I did my first piece of solo magic, that wasn't the freaking vanishing bandana. I had a good personality piece with a short script and no Brandon in sight. It went over great!

So by this point we've been living in Myrtle Beach, have lost our theater gig, and honestly not working much at all. So our egos and confidence are very fragile at this point. We did however land a solid gig during the Summer at the Sea Mist Resort. So every year a few months out we started planning this show. Another magician we trusted at the time gave us some advice to help Hannah. It definitely wasn't the right advice.

He suggested we not do magic together but have a several solo pieces for each of us. Some guys will do a joint show with a fellow magician and will trade off back and forth. Yeah... that crap only works if you both have the same amount of experience.

So every Monday, June through August we did two shows back to back at the Sea Mist. We had minimal time in between to reset everything, so this meant we had no time to make adjustments in between the first and second show if something wasn't going over well.

I'm trying to remember exactly what I did... I have truly tried to repress this night in my life because it was hands down one of the worst. I know I did an act with silk scarves, some multi phase prediction thing, and probably my hugs & kills bit I did in the Houdini show.

I don't recall how we started the show. I'm sure we did something together and introduced us as separate magicians and that's when all hell broke loose. At this point I would have just turned 20 and Brandon 23. I would have been doing "solo" magic for a few months. And Brandon had been doing it for 17 years. Do you realize how much of a head start that is?

I was literally battling Brandon onstage. And not well mind you. He did a piece, then I did a piece so horribly it wasn't even funny. We've all seen something that was so bad it was funny and other times it's so bad it's painful. I think at first the audience really was excited for me. It sounded cool that I would be doing my own thing. I muddled through my silk routine and bowed to some scattered applause.

Brandon did something and then I did the awful prediction thing we put together. It wasn't even good magic, I'm not sure what we were attempting but I had to speak the whole time and I had to act and I did not deliver. It didn't fool anyone. This got a few pity claps.

Brandon did something else. I then came out to do the trick I did at the Houdini show. This is a good solid routine but at that point it didn't matter. The audience already hated me. When Brandon announced it was time for me to come back onstage again the audience GROANED. There was a loud audible groan because they had to put up with me again.

My heart is hurting again just typing all of this...

Guys listen I've actually been booed onstage before. Now granted I was assisting another magician and technically they were booing him and not me. But that didn't even come close to what it felt like to audibly hear that an audience hated me. As a performer I have never felt so low.

I genuinely don't remember the rest of that show. I don't remember the following show that night. I just remember the self loathing and hate I felt for myself because of this experience.

We had to drive to Columbia that night from Myrtle Beach and I cried all the way there. 3 hours of just sobbing.

How could I ever step foot on a stage again? How could I be so stupid as to have left everything behind to pursue a career that I was absolutely terrible at?

I was numb for a while. I didn't want to talk about it. We put the show back to what it was the year before and I just slept walk through the shows for a while and tried to forget it happened.

Brandon was always my security blanket onstage. And it shouldn't have just been snatched away from me all in one go. We had such a great balance onstage and we do magic together so effortlessly but having Brandon backstage as opposed to onstage made such a big difference. Just a few feet further away from me than usual determined my success or failure at that time.

So we reverted back for a long time. I was terrified to try again and just chose to go the safe route. It took quite a while for me to get back on the horse.

In the little gigs we did here and there eventually I started trying to just speak again. I certainly never went back to those routines we created for that summer. They are dead and will stay dead. We even have a special drawer labeled failed for that junk.

When it came time to present our full show at the Opry for the first time I was actually ready for speaking. I performed vanishing bandana again because it was comfortable and for the most part we stayed at our onstage balance but gave me a lot more speaking parts.

Even then I wasn't great but I had come such a long way. I spoke a little high pitched and definitely way too fast but my confidence was still healing even after 2 1/2 years.

Every year gets easier, I push myself and grow more as a performer. Last year I put in my first piece of really good magic, not a gag, that was completely solo and involved controlling an audience member up onstage, which when you are inexperienced with that, it's a lot to juggle.

In about a month we're adding a piece to Pure Magic that involves us both doing the same trick. This is scary to me because it feels like we will be competing against each other again but we have rehearsed it constantly and I'm interested to see how it goes over in our first new show of the season.

Next year I'll be doing a close up piece that we've created that doesn't involve me speaking. I've chosen great personality pieces at this point to show off my sass and was able to play off audience members. This will be just me doing sleight of hand to some music with a camera zoomed in on my hands all while being projected onto 3 giant screens. No pressure.

But now I'm excited for things like this. Of course I'm still frightened, I always am. But the best things in life come with a risk.

And this is a good balance for us. This is the way we have found that works for us. Me just having one or two pieces of solo magic while we do the rest together.

So no, we aren't doing that whole duo magician thing wrong. We are doing what works for us. What works for me. And we're going to keep doing it that way. Our right way.