Brandon and I have had more opportunities than usual lately to travel due to lots of people booking us for outside shows. It has been exhausting but certainly a change of scenery going back and forth from Myrtle Beach between theatre shows.
We had another show in Columbia, this one for a big family reunion. It wasn't a simple outside show, this one was a bit more involved than usual with costume changes and bigger tricks. We got there fine, everything was going great, and then about 30 minutes to show time we received some really bad news.
Entertainers understand this, but most muggles don't, when something horrible is going on, or we're sick, or depressed, or whatever is going on in our lives... the show just must go on. There's no option. When it's just you there to perform and make an evening extra magical it's all on you.
It's hard to explain the pressure of that situation. Trying to help others escape their realities when all you wanna do is escape yours.
In the time that I should have been changing into my show clothes and getting into a good mindset I was instead crying in a back room and just wishing we could go home. And it was angry tears. The hardest to get under control.
Thanks to a magic sister who lets me vent, I finally wiped my face, touched up my makeup, and put on a smile to face everyone.
But internally I was still falling apart, why do these people get to just sit back, relax, and have a great evening and forget about their problems?
(I apologize, I wasn't raised in the entertainment industry and I know I shouldn't ask these things aloud. It's almost rude, of course that's what our job is for.)
But last night, last night changed everything.
There's an important part in Pure Magic that I'm sure I've touched on before where we talk about how our show is for others. It's to help people escape from everything going on in the world and just experience wonder for a little while.
Last night, that wasn't true. That show was for us, for me.
I have ALWAYS felt guilty because as much as I love the magic, I know on the daily that Brandon is 1,000 times more passionate about it. He breathes it 24/7 and sometimes I need a break. It's made me question if I'm making my life an illusion sometimes and it wasn't what I really wanted to do despite how much I love performing.
But while we were performing (I started out angry performing, that is definitely a thing) I worked SO much harder and literally had one of the best shows I've had in years. The show was near flawless, the audience was so gracious and seriously enjoyed themselves and so did I. I completely forgot about everything. All that stupid crap that had me so worked up was nothing compared to the thrill of performing and being happy on that stage truly doing what I know we were meant to do.
After the show and we finally packed up and reloaded the car to head back to Myrtle Beach I looked at Brandon and said "That was exactly what I needed. That performance was completely therapeutic."
Me, I said that. The only thing that could have fixed my problem in a million years was performing magic onstage. Not my normal escape, which is usually Disney World or Stephen King books, but just performing.
So last night I was selfish, and it was completely life changing for me.
In other news...
We just released our latest promo video this morning! So if you want to come escape your reality with us check it out!
