We created a piece of magic to help tell my story.
I so hope you all have seen The Greatest Showman by now, it's honestly one of the best movies I've seen in years and I'm not exaggerating when I say we listen to the soundtrack atleast 4 times a week even after over a year of it being out. Sometimes a movie and music just speaks to you.
This movie hit home with me more than anything. A story about entertainment, a boy with dreams who grows up into a man who chases them down and the girl follows along and helps make those dreams possible.
"However big, however small, let me be part of it all. Share your dreams with me."
Brandon has always been the dreamer, and while I am the realist, I'm still always there rooting for him and pushing him to keep going no matter how hard the going gets.
I was a normal teenager, going to high school, I finally decided on my major and was heading down the music path. I loved playing music, I still do, and thought I would become a high school band teacher. Oh how I loved marching band, I still miss that. Then came Brandon, the cute guy I was majorly crushing on and despite the fact that I had a boyfriend, my best friend was absolutely in love with him, and that Brandon was 3 years older, it still didn't stop me.
I went to his first magic show on a date to try and make Brandon jealous (it didn't work in case you were wondering) but atleast he was interested in me. The magic he did fascinated me almost as much as the guy doing it. I had hated magic for quite some time at this point but the guy I was watching onstage changed that. I wanted to do that. And most importantly I wanted to do that with him.
A few weeks later we started dating, and little did I know how much this one guy would literally change my life my sophomore year.
I followed him around to shows and things just because it seemed like the girlfriend thing to do, just support him. Once we got two months into dating it was time for him to part ways with his assistants. While it was a frustrating time, it was best for everyone all around and took away a lot of stress. But then the part where he needed a new assistant.
Oh how I begged and pleaded. Obviously this was the way to get even closer to his heart was through the one thing he may have liked more than me (he definitely did and still might somedays haha)
It finally happened, he caved, despite telling me no a thousand times. He didn't want it to cause a strain on our relationship and make us break up (it did but we got back together). I remember starting to work with him and rehearsing and the excitement of it all but I don't remember making that decision.
That big moment when my brain flipped a switch and said this is it, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I think at first it might have honestly been out of jealousy. I just didn't want him working super closely with a girl that wasn't me for the rest of our lives but then it changed. I genuinely started to love it and obsess over it.
I remember taking my playing cards and tricks into school with me and even rehearsing choreography every second I got. Every bruise was a badge of honor. My friends all thought I was crazy and even started to distance themselves from me but I didn't care, I was having the time of my life.
We were having fun performing around town and even traveling every now and then but I always knew he had big dreams. He wanted to move to Myrtle Beach and have an illusion show in a theatre. While I always thought deep down that it might have been a bit too big of a dream, I was there. I supported.
By the time I became a junior, that summer had changed me. We performed together constantly but we had also broken up which made me even more determined in the magic. I mean how else was I going to spend time with Brandon?
By the time I got halfway through the school year my counselors were threatening to fail me for missing so much school due to shows. And literally over a weekend I switched to online school. Just like that. I changed it all.
I dropped my dreams. I was 100% committed to helping Brandon now chase his. And boy have I followed him to lots of places.
I graduated early, we seemed like we were about to hit it big time and finally moved to the beach on a dream that crashed and burned just as quickly as it had come. And while Brandon may have lost faith in himself and doubted this was what he should really be doing. I didn't. I mean how could I? I had nothing to lose anymore. I left my school path, my family, my friends.
People actually ask me all the time if I regret it, do I ever wonder what life would be like if I had just chosen to keep to my normal track in life? At this point, almost 10 years of being with Brandon. The answer is absolutely not. I think I can very well guess how my life would have gone had I stayed in Columbia. I'm pretty sure of where I would have gone to school, who I would have married, where I would have been going to church...
But that life wasn't for me. I risked it all for him. And every. single. second was absolutely worth it. This wonderful, crazy, amazing, stressful, magical life that we have created together.
That dream of his became our life. And together we walk on this tightrope called life but holding his hand, he taught me not to look down, just take the steps forward despite the fears and we're making it.
We're here. We're in Myrtle Beach doing our illusion show at the theatre he so desperately dreamed to be apart of. This is our circus.
I'll never forget hearing this song for the first time while watching the movie in the theatre. I leaned over to Brandon, whispered "This is my life" and squeezed his hand.
This song literally came from my heart somehow and will forever be my anthem.
Some people long for a life that is simple and planned
Tied with a ribbon
Some people won't sail the sea 'cause they're safer on land
To follow what's written
But I'd follow you to the great unknown
Off to a world we call our own
Hand in my hand and we promised to never let go
We're walking the tightrope
High in the sky
We can see the whole world down below
We're walking the tightrope
Never sure, never know how far we could fall
But it's all an adventure
That comes with a breathtaking view
Walking the tightrope
With you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
With you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
With you
Mountains and valleys, and all that will come in between
Desert and ocean
You pulled me in and together we're lost in a dream
Always in motion
So I risk it all just to be with you
And I risk it all for this life we choose
